A Christmas Saga
by lady tecuma
Summary: Virgil gets the brillant idea of attaching a piece of mistletoe to an enviromental bug and letting it loose on the Durandal. Chaos enuses. Chapter 8: Bug vs. man, round one!
1. How it all Started

**How it all Started**

Really, there was a good explanation.

No, honestly.

It was all Virgil's fault.

Seriously.

Best to back up and explain.

A long time ago, humanity decided to screw with something it shouldn't have screwed with. As a result, they were kicked off of Planet Earth and now 4000 years later, humankind was still desperately looking for their mother planet, with only several reminders of it now scattered amongst the stars…

Like Mary's accent but that's a totally different topic…no, we are talking about the infamous plant of Christmas, a cute little spring of green with white berries.

Mistletoe.

And how the hell Vir…oh, my bad, I mean **_Blue Cloak_** got his hands on a spring of it is beyond me.

But anyway. Now that he had been elevated to Testament-hood (whyohwhyohWHY) Virgil found himself in a rare position of power, he could screw with people's heads…and probably with Realians minds too (sick bastard).

Too bad Wilhelm was his boss now. (THAT'S GOOD)

So the weekend before Christmas, Virgil (while snooping around on the Durandal as per the Vector CEO's instructions) happened across a large pile of garlands made out of pine boughs and smelling all so Christmasy…with mistletoe attached.

The location was the Park.

1 AM in the morning.

Environmental bugs buzzing all over the place.

One has to wonder if Wilhelm and the Compass of Order could not foresee the chaos that was about to commence…this man should not be left to his own devices…let alone actually THINK. Dear God, the HORROR.

A bug darted up into his face, causing him to jerk backwards. Then it fluttered towards the mistletoe, coming to rest on a plump, snow-white berry…an evil grin crossed Virgil's face. Extending a blue-cloaked hand, he used his powers to pull the poor little bug towards him, using the other to pluck off a piece of mistletoe.

"Heh heh heh…" The plant attached, he disappeared and reappeared in the hallway, opening his hand and letting the poor traumatized-for-life bug fly away. "This should be interesting."

Interesting was putting it mildly.

(And once again, one must wonder if Wilhelm knew about this. But knowing him, he probably knew.)

(Sexy manipulating beast. Rawr.)


	2. It Begins

**Chapter Two: It Begins**

Gaignun Kukai looked up from his standing position near Shelley on the _Durandal_'s bridge.

"What the…?"

"It's been like that all morning." The lavender-haired woman replied, not taking her hands off the console. "They've been giggling their heads off at something." The black haired man tilted his head around the computer screen, seeing a group of 100-Series Realians huddled together in a group, small shoulders quaking with mirth.

"Aww, they look so cute like that." Mary said, coming up to join her sister. "Did you get your presents for them, Master Gaignun?"

"Yes. I…" Shrieks of laughter. Shelley pushed herself away from her console.

"That's it! What's going on down there?!" Squealing, the small green-haired Realians scattered back to their seats as Shelley came down the ramp, Gaignun following her. Sharp purple eyes scanned the bridge, picking out one particular 100-Series who was staring straight down at her console, her face a bright red. As the two advanced towards her, the blush intensified, and her sisters started to giggle madly.

"Alright, ya'll! What's with all the giggling?!" Mary demanded from on top, putting her hands on her hips. Gaignun and Shelley came to a stop next to the blushing 100-Series. Shelley bent over.

"Is something wrong?" In reply, the 100-Series sat back in her chair, green hair hiding her face and lifted a small hand, the index finger pointing upwards. Gaignun tracked the path, and a smile crossed his lips.

"So that's what it's about." Shelley looked up, and quickly put a hand to her face to hide a smile.

"Oh my." Standing out like a hockey puck on ice lived the mistletoe bunch, swaying slightly in the air. "How did…"

"It's attached to an environmental bug!" One of the other 100-Series called out before dissolving into laughter.

"How did that happen?" Mary exclaimed. "Did any of…" Several green heads shook violently. Gaignun grinned, going on his knees next to the blushing 100-Series.

"Well then, it looks like I have to give a kiss." At this, the little Realian's head whipped up, her face turning even redder.

"Uh…uh…"

_Member of the Gaignun Kukai fanclub?_ Shelley thought to her sister.

_Aren't we all?_ Mary replied.

"Umm…umm…" Gaignun tucked a hand underneath the 100-Series' chin.

"Is your cheek preferable?"

"Umm…."

"I'll take that as a yes." With that, the U.R.T.V. leaned in; placing a chaste kiss on the little Realian's left cheek. "There we go."

"…Eeeekkkk!!!!" Chuckling to himself, Gaignun got up, casting a look around for the environmental bug and its burden, but didn't see it anywhere.

"I'll see you girls later?" He asked Shelley who had also risen, patting the Realian on her head.

"Of course." Nodding, Gaignun walked back up the ramp and towards the _Durandal_'s lift.

"You just made her day, Master Gaignun." Mary said in an undertone as he passed her.

"It's nothing." Gaignun said, shrugging. "You and your sister better watch out though…with that bug on the prowl, your fanclub members may try to corner you."

"Same to you too!" Mary said cheerfully. "Good luck at the meeting!"

The next two days were…fascinating, to say the least. The popularity of the poor little environmental bug practically skyrocked, with the _Durandal_'s crew keeping a sharp eye out for the floating mistletoe. Boyfriends/girlfriends now found a reason to hang out with their significant others at work, Mary, Shelley, Gaignun, and Jr. now practically ran to and from their quarters, in fear of the poor bug and their cree…I mean _admiring_ fanclub members...this after an unfortunate incident involving Mary, the bug, several stalke…I mean _fans_ and a service vent.

And you never wanted to see Mary Godwin angry…rather, _hear_ her angry. Gaignun wasn't too sure if his eardrums had fully recovered after that rather long-winded screeching match in his office. All he remembered hearing were the words, "kill, burn, main, destroy…"

A.k.a. the poor traumatized environmental bug with its festive tag-along had been consigned to hell. Least by Mary anyway.

(HOW TO KILL VIRGIL #1: Lock him in a room with a pissed-off Mary.)

Several more 100-Series Realians had received kisses, both from Gaignun and Jr…now plans were currently underway to make sure MOMO was on the receiving end of a kiss from the fire-haired U.R.T.V.

Of course, in conjunction with _that_, plans were being constructed to make sure a certain blond-haired cyborg did not interfere with this blessed event…tinsel, Christmas-themed masking tape, and Christmas lights were mentioned.

And all the while, the poor little environmental bug finally found a place of peace, a very secluded area of the Park, where it made a cute little home for itself, and hid there when the publicity was just too much.

(DAMN YOU VIRGIL, MUST YOU TORMENT EVERYTHING?!)


	3. Poor Buggy

**Chapter Three: Poor Buggy...**

It was the giggling that woke her up. She was all so nice and warm…the bed felt so good underneath her…

"Come on, MOMO-kun!"

"Ugghh…"

"Heh heh heh! Come on MOMO!"

Nobody should be forced to wake up at…what the hell time was it? A slender body rolled over, one green eye slitting open to stare at the red digital readout of the clock on the nightstand in-between the two beds.

8 A.M.

Ungodly hour. (VERY)

Damn the fact she had one hellva work ethic, this was…some sort of twisted vacation. There hadn't been any Gnosis attacks, no U-TIC attacks; no appearances by freaking idiots dressed in cloaks…no Albedo…

To sum it up all in one word: Heaven. And Shion had decided to take full advantage…and this meant not getting out of bed at any time before 10:30 A.M. But now…

"go away…"

Seeing swarms of green hair crawl all over MOMO's bed, Shion blinked. Surely this was a hallucination. The _Durandal_'s 100-Series Realians were surely not that insane to drag their poor…for lack of a better word, _sister_ out of bed at this hour?

"Come on, you're going to have a big day today! A big Christmas surprise!" This was enough to make MOMO sit up sleepily, blinking.

"A Christmas surprise?" Several green-haired heads nodded yes in unison before three turned around and quickly ran out of the room.

"Yep! Come, come!" MOMO yelped in surprise as the sheets were pulled off of her and she was dragged out of bed. "We need to make you all pretty!"

"Yeek…Shion! He..mmmpphhh!"

"She can't go out like that!"

"Get her robe!"

"Mmmmppphhh!!!"

"Stop struggling!" With this, the little Realians led their struggling friend out of her room, leaving a very puzzled Shion behind.

----

We now return to the poor environmental bug…who now was named Drakon, but was going by Draky for short.

(One of the 100-Series had pity and came up with a name. Though in the case of Mary, Shelley, Gaignun and Jr., the bug already had several…errr, rather _personal_ names.)

(And knowing Mary, poor Draky was probably being called the bleep bleep bleep sonvabitch bleep bleep bug from HELL)

ANYWAY.

Poor Draky was in his cute little home in the secluded part of the _Durandal_'s Park, sniffing into a cute little hanky with little tears rolling down his cheeks…

…

(VIRGIL, YOU **_SONVABITCH_**.)

As he wept, trying vainly to get rid of this horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE thing that had been attached to him, a pair of gloved hands suddenly invaded his bush, creating a large gap for a pair of large gold eyes to peer through.

"I found it!"

Screaming in horror, Draky quickly flew out of his now-ruined home and into the park…of course, it was daylight, and nobody could see him…all they could see was the mistletoe.

"IT'S HEEEERREEEEE!!!"

"Ooh, get him!"

"Hands off mister, he's needed for a special mission!" Draky turned around only to see _SOMETHING_ come flying at him…some sort of grey-mesh thing…A NET!

…

…

(Like I said, Virgil's ass can be blamed for all of this. Though…we could _blame _Wilhelm, he was the one who brought Virgil back to life…yet I find myself unable to.)

(Sexy manipulating beast. Rawr.)

----

She fiddled her fingers, looking down at her new outfit, a blue-jean skirt with knee-high boots, matching jacket over a white blouse, a headband in her hair…

"Wonder why they all did this to me?" She wondered aloud. Sighing, she made herself comfortable on the couch in the lounge area not too far from her and Shion's room, her legs swinging.

And in the meantime, not too far away…

"Is he there yet?!"

The very bizarre sight of three 100-Series Realians chasing after a floating bunch of mistaltoe, one holding a net, the other a crowbar, and the last a…cattle prod?! made people stop and stare…Draky in the meantime, just wanted to get AWAY…he flew into the little alcove and came to a stop on a perch over MOMO, unaware that his pursuers had stopped, turned around, and ran the opposite way.

Now all what was needed was for a certain red-headed U.R.T.V. to come by…


	4. Hell hath no fury than a 100Series

**AN: **Merry Christmas to all! And have no fear, this fic still has a ways to go...it'll probably be finished by New Year's.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Four: Hell hath no fury than a 100-Series...**

So MOMO sat idly on the couch, dressed down to the nines, fiddling her fingers and swinging her legs…while in the meantime, Gaignun Jr. found himself being assaulted by several little Realians.

Several very colorful curses later, he was being dragged through the hallways, blindfolded, gagged, and bound. Then all of a sudden he found himself being freed, pushed forward so hard that he fell to his knees, and then the pitter-patter of little feet running away mixed with crazed giggling echoed behind him.

"What the hell?!" Groaning, he pushed himself up. "Damnit, what's gotten into them?"

"Jr.?" At the familiar voice, the red headed U.R.T.V. looked up...and felt all the blood rush to his cheeks.

"M…M…MOMO?!" He spluttered out. Standing not too far away was a dazzling vision, she was a picture of purity and innocence, he could almost hear the angels singing, a soft white light glowing around her…

But **damn, **that skirt was short. It hit her at like what, just a tiny point above the knees….WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING?!

"Jr.?" Face now as red as his hair, Jr. scrambled to his feet. Desperatly, he cast his eyes around…looking to the left, to the right, looking dow…WAIT, DON'T DO THAT…looking up….

And his blue orbs locked upon poor Draky…or rather what Draky was being forced to lug around.

And the person standing underneath it.

He didn't know whether to yell with glee or find a nice hole to crawl into.

"Um…MOMO?"

* * *

Around the corner, several gold eyes glinted with delight, along with one pair of blue and lavender orbs. 

"I must say, this was quite the idea!" Mary said approvingly. MOMO had now looked up, her face turning a bright pink at the greenery above her…Jr. had advanced closer, his cheeks burning violently.

"Come on, kiss her already!" One of the Realians hissed. "I'm getting a cramp in my leg here!" Her sisters shushed her, and she glared back. "It's the truth!"

"Quiet!" Shelley said suddenly, her eyes fixed on the scene in the lounge. "I think they're about to do it!" Jr. had rather awkwardly put his left arm around MOMO's waist, his right hand on her upper arm….

* * *

_It's just a kiss, idiot!_ Jr. berated himself as he looked down into MOMO's beautiful golden eyes…he wouldn't lie, he was looking forward to this…actually had drifted off into some daydreaming about it occasionally…the angel in his arms closed her eyes, leaning forward…

_Take it like a man!_ And so Gaignun Jr. did so, closing his eyes and leaning forward. One could almost hear the air itself hold its breath in anticipation, certainly the nosy lot spying on the two around the corner were, you could hear dramatic music playing in the background…the angels ready to sing once more….two pairs of trembling lips met, and all was right…

Up until _he_ entered the scene.

…

It's safe to say he was able to get out of whatever-the-hell-EVER the little 100-Series Realians had cooked up, and then had proceeded to wander aimlessly around the Durandal…

Needless to say…he came just as the kiss that nearly everybody who knew Jr. and MOMO were waiting for FINALLY happened…

Short story? Jr. got knocked the HELL out.

(Not so cold are we now, Ziggy?)

His fatherly duty done, Ziggy looked up, eyes locking on poor, poor, poor Draky…an evil smile crossed his lips, electricity sparking around his robotic right hand.

"MOMO, get out of the way."

"Wha?!"

"EXECUTIONER!!" Draky barely had enough time to get out of there as the electrical blade came flying down…blubbering; he flew out into the hallway.

(WHY MUST EVERYBODY HATE ON POOR DRAKY?!)

Locked on his prey, the cyborg left a confused MOMO (who was now getting very ticked off to boot) and tore out into the hallway…

Only to find his way barricaded by several 100-Series…all with their hands on their hips, eyes narrowed, the same err…maniacal glint in their eyes.

(Cue _Psycho_ theme here please)

…

Mary and Shelley had already made a run for it, because what was about to happen…was not going to be pretty.

There would be weeping.

Gnashing of teeth.

Screams.

Sounds of masking tape being ripped off flesh (OUCHOUCHOUCH.)

Furby torture.

…

You get the drift. Ever hear a grown man scream?

"AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

(Why Virgil wasn't the one to get jacked up is beyond me.)


	5. Ziggy gets owned

**Chapter Five: Ziggy gets owned**

He couldn't stop laughing.

He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed so hard.

Here he was, businessman extraordinaire, playboy of the year, most eligible bachelor…Representative Helmer and Wilhelm were waiting for him to join a videoconference call…and he couldn't stop laughing.

Why?

Let us rewind the events of the day.

* * *

After getting the dreaded phone call that no parent (or in this case, sibling) ever wants to hear, Gaignun had dropped everything and rushed to the _Durandal_'s infirmary. If anything had happened to his beloved older brother, he didn't know what he'd do…

But upon finding out that his "son" was only recovering from one hell of a clonk upside the head, and not dying or anything, Gaignun began to re-think his attitude…But upon seeing one very eerr…_ticked-off_ MOMO, the black-haired U.R.T.V. started to find himself being attacked by this thing we humans call laughter…

Of course, with MOMO looking like she'd whip out her Star Light armor if anyone dared to release a snicker, Gaignun quickly signed the necessary paperwork and left, once outside the Infirmary stuffing a fist into his mouth to keep from howling with laughter…the younger brother in him screaming with delight, filing this away for torture/torment of older brother at a future time…

Then he got a phone call.

_Um…Master Gaignun? I…I think you better come up here and see this…_

He shouldn't have listened.

* * *

The first indicator that he was not going to be able to keep his composure should have been walking down the ramp and seeing all his little "sisters/daughters" huddled together in one big group, giggling, whispering, and pointing…

The second indicator? Mary and Shelley, _yes_ Shelley, on the floor, screaming their heads off.

And the third indicator?

Oh, how about the very _bizarre_ picture of two six-feet Christmas trees tied together to make one big tree…with one blond-headed cyborg stuck in the middle…all you could see was his head sticking out to the side.

And on top of that blond mane? A white Christmas tree star with multicolored lights. Gaignun could only assume that it had been superglued to Ziggy's hair, he didn't see anything to secure it. A gingerbread man had been secured with Christmas-tree themed white masking tape on Ziggy's mouth before going around his face, which was going to be a _bitch_ to take off…

Oh, and of course, the "tree" was fully decorated…ornaments, lights, icicles, fake snow, tinsel garlands…all the lights were lit up (including the star), of course.

Gaignun took one look and found himself struggling not to join Mary and Shelley on the floor…he failed.

Miserably.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"

After several minutes of screaming, the raven-haired man was now struggling to stand up…hell, at least get to his knees…

Then Ziggy woke up.

…

…

…

**PLEASE WAIT. THIS SCENE IS NOW BEING EDITED BY NAMCO OF AMERICA DUE TO EXTREMLY GRAPHIC SWEARING. **

WE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DAY.

Needless to say, many little ears got one _hell_ of an earful.

Now fastfoward to Gaignun and his struggle for self-control.

_Come on, get a grip!_ Black-clad shoulders quaked with suppressed mirth. Finally, he was able to regain some degree of sanity, and he pressed the button on his console to activate the viewscreen.

"Representative."

* * *

Therein followed a long, boring business meeting…in Gaignun's current frame of mind, he couldn't wait for it to be over so he could hurry to the Infirmary and needle Jr. about this current situation…it had been too long since he had something this good on his older brother.

And as for Draky? Well…let's just say he had somehow wound up outside Gaignun's office, tucked away in the climate-control vent, bawling his cute little eyes out…

But he didn't stay there for long…one certain cyborg and one certain red-head had somehow tracked him down, and were tearing towards him at the speed of light…

* * *

The meeting was going well in his opinion, though it seemed like the black-haired U.R.T.V. seemed to be a bit distracted…of course, he knew the reason why.

(NATURALLY.)

Perhaps he should have done something about it, but things seemed to be working out quite well…

(OH REALLY?!)

All of a sudden, an explosion of sound came from Gaignun's half of the monitor.

_You bastard! You've killed him!_

_Wait wait, I didn't do it!_

_HE KILLED DRAKY!!!!!

* * *

_

Quickly making excuses, Gaignun left his chair and tore out into the hallway...just in time to see several 100-Series Realians jump Ziggy, while another one hurried away with something in her hands.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!"

"You bastard, you killed Draky!!"

(But of course, Draky's fine, just knocked out…but they didn't know that).

(Poor bug.)


	6. And it just keeps getting better and bet...

**AN: **Yeah, I know...not Christmas, but I'll finish this fic off anyway!

* * *

**Chapter Six: And it just keeps getting better and better...**

Bright white light.

A long dark tunnel…or is it the long dark tunnel first and then the white bright light?

Anyway, Draky felt himself slowly drift back up into awareness, feeling something cold underneath his little body.

_Is he going to be alright?!_

_I think so, he just got dazed…_

Eyes wide, he bolted up…he was in some sort of glass box, with fresh air being pumped inside…through the glass, he could see several very big figures moving around. Of course, the current bane of his existence was still attached to him… Draky's eyes welled with tears. Why, oh WHY hadn't they removed this horrible green and white thing?!

(VIRGIL YOU BASTARD, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL.)

All he ever did was his job…which was to keep the ship clean with his fellow bugs. Every day. Was he being punished for something? He wasn't a slacker, he made sure to get his areas all nice and sparkly…

(Just what the frick did Febronia see in you, you bastard?!)

Then Draky felt himself being picked up in soft, gentle hands…he looked up to see green eyes looking down at him, and then these blessed words…

"You poor thing. Maybe we should hide you for a bit…everybody on this ship's been after you." The fingers pulled at the THING attached to him. "How to get this off, I wonder…" Poor Draky could do nothing but sniff, tears welling up in his cute little eyes…blubbering his thanks in environmental bug language… The hands picked up a little pillow and put it inside the glass box, Draky very carefully being put on top.

* * *

We now cut to the sexy manipulating beast known as Wilhelm. 

(Rawr)

Who had decided on the spur of the moment, to spend Christmas on the Kukai Foundation.

(Uh-oh)

This also meant that his Testaments got a bit of a vacation of well.

(Yikes)

One Testament in particular decided to tag along…just to see what had happened with his little "prank".

(We're screwed.)

Fortunately, another Testament, who did not trust Virgil as far as he could throw him…especially around Shion was following…

(Back-stabbing sonvabitch…but then I guess I'm being too harsh…but still…)

So anyway, Kevin snuck up behind Virgil as the blue-cloaked _baka_ snuck around on the _Durandal_.

"Just what are you doing?" Virgil spun around to face his errr…superior. Yes, SUPERIOR. Kevin had seniority…just as egghea…I MEAN **_VOYAGER_** had superiority over him.

"Nothing." (LIES!) Sapphire-blue (Damnit, WHY does Kevin have to be hawt?!) eyes narrowed.

"This would not have anything to do with that infamous environmental bug now, would it?

(YES! PIN HIM!)

"…No."

(STOP LYING, YOU BASTARD!)

* * *

He was in heaven. He could forgive the glass box, this pillow was oh-so-nice and comfy…and her hands were so soft, her skin smelled so sweet… 

"What the…how did this thing get put on in the first place?!"

Oh yes, this was the first bit of peace he'd had in several days.

"Shion, do you think you're going to be able to get it off?"

"I hope so…" Thus reassured, MOMO and the other 100-Series Realians left…and just in the nick of time too, as Virgil came slinking into the lab.

(Last thing we needed was for Hannibal Lector to start drooling)

Followed by Kevin of course.

(God bless his soul)

Of course, Shion was blindly naïve to the fact that two very DANGEROUS PEOPLE had just entered the lab…well, in her case, just one…the second one would gladly go crazy on the first one's ass if anything happened to her… Nope, she continued, toiling away, trying to get rid of the spring of mistletoe attached to poor Draky…

Who, in an effort to help, was now hovering in the air over Shion's hand...and noticed the two newcomers come inside. Of course, Shion couldn't see them, but Draky immediately sensed that this was not good… Desperate, he started fluttering around, how could he warn his new friend?!

"What the…what's going on with you?!" Draky did the only thing he could do…dive-bomb Shion. Repeatedly. Finally the brunette, in an effort to get away from the bug, backed into a table and fell over, shrieking…this caused both Virgil and Kevin to cast Ether teleport spells to get out of the room, for fear of Shion crashing into them…

"What's going on in here?!" Having heard the scream, Gaignun came rushing into the lab. "Shion!"

"Owie…"

"Are you alright?!" His job done, Draky tore for the vent in the ceiling…however, thanks to the mistletoe, he didn't hide himself completely...the spring of green with its white berries dangled above Shion's head.

And then to make things even more interesting, guess who else came into the lab.

"Is everything alright?"

(Personally, I wouldn't mind being in her shoes right about now! w00t w00t!) Gaignun looked up in surprise.

"Mr. Wilhelm?!"


	7. Teh Yaoi?

**Chapter Seven**: **Teh yaoi?**

Poor Shion.

Hell, I'd be embarrassed too…bad enough she fell down and attracted the attention of Gaignun, but the Vector CEO **_too_**?!

It was enough to make one's face a shade of permanent red that put Jr.'s hair to shame. As she scrambled to her feet, two pairs of eyes, one green and one claret, lifted themselves above the furiously blushing female and saw…

(ALL MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER RIGHT NOW)

Regardless, this was a very interesting situation, wasn't it? Gaignun cleared his throat.

"Uh…Shion? You may want to…look up." At this Shion looked up at her unlikely rescuer with a puzzled glance…and then as the implications sank in, she squeezed her eyes shut, face turning ever redder.

"Oh nooo…" Wilhelm chuckled.

"This is quite the scenario, isn't it?"

(ALL MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER)

Thankfully, Gaignun was a kind-hearted man, had it been Jr. or anyone else, they would probably have forced Shion to get a kiss from Wilhelm, but seeing as how he was very busy right now…

(aka find and save Ziggy's ass)

He quickly gave Shion a chaste peck on the cheek and making apologizes, hurried out of the room.

(WTFRICK?! YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE MY GIRL THERE LIKE THAT?)

So poor Shion was left alone with Wilhelm, who was doing his level best (and succeeding to boot) of holding back several undignified chuckles.

(Sexy manipulating beast. Rawr.)

Understanding her predicament, the Vector CEO gamely stepped forward and took Shion's right hand, bowing forward and kissing it.

"Will this count?"

(Talk about a gentleman. **_Damn!_**)

And all Shion could do was squeak out "yes…"

(I'd be a puddle of hormones on the floor.)

* * *

Now where the hell was Ziggy?, you may be wondering?

Yes, many people were pondering that question too.

Nothing had been heard of him ever since that…INCIDENT in the hallway.

And the Durandal's 100-Series Realians weren't telling either.

(Ziggy got OWNED)

But of course, for the sake of their pink-haired friend they couldn't kill him…

(But considering MOMO's mood towards him, they could jack him up)

So Gaignun found himself having to resort to using all his charm up to the point where he was just like half a step away from using his power…finally he got Ziggy-kun's location, and dispatched the appropriate people to rescue him.

Though how the **_HELL_** Ziggy ended up being dangled over a shark tank with meat tied all over him was a complete mystery….

(My question is where the hell did the shark and the tank come from?!)

Oh and don't worry, Jr. was getting punished too. Sisters have to stick together, you know.

(And you SO SERIOUSLY do not want to piss MOMO off…)

* * *

We now go back to Draky, who had been able to free his burden and had fluttered through the vents, eventually pausing to take a break next to another one, the damn mistletoe over the edge, just dangling in the air…

(And this people, is when it all starts to go to hell.)

But unknown to him, he had chosen the room Wilhelm had been given for his stay on the Foundation…

(Oh oh.)

And since the Vector CEO was away, the Testaments could play.

(OH-OH.)

To be more specific…play chess. Currently it was Kevin (Backstabbing bastard) vs. Virgil (Realian-eating prick) with Voyager (Egghead) watching on.

And unfortunately for Draky, he had inadvertently positioned the mistletoe so that it was dangling right in-between the heads of Virgil and Voyager.

(Oh frick.)

Who were so focused on the game that they weren't paying their usual dedicated attention…

(THIS IS NOT A YAOI!)

And did not notice the Little Green Spring Of Doom hanging from above, with a soon to be extremely traumatized for life once again environmental bug…but somebody did.

"Mmph!" Biting back laughter, Kevin shot sapphire-blue eyes up towards the ceiling, no, he hadn't been imagining things…he followed the track down to his two co-workers in front of him.

(And here is the proof, once again, that all men, including Testaments, have dirty minds)

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

(Damn, ever hear of a thing called self-control?)

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

(Apparently not.)

Of course, this pissed Virgil (Realian-eating prick) off to no end.

(Though I don't see much of a difference, he's ALWAYS pissed off…)

"What is your problem?!" Kevin struggled to hold back his laughter. Gasping for breath, he leaned back in his seat, unable to meet two pairs of eyes who were now glaring at him…

"It's…" Snickering. "nothing…"

(LIES.)

And then to make things even worse…guess who walked in the room?

(Sexy manipulating beast. Rawr.)

Of course, Wilhelm's face was expressionless as he looked over the scene in front of him, his eyes locking on the snickering Kevin. Then, as if curious to find out just what his red-cloaked minion was laughing at, he raised his eyes to the ceiling.

(YAOI FIEND! No wait…that's Kevin right now. My bad!)

One elegant white eyebrow went up, and Kevin went down.

(…My God, that just sounded SO dirty…)

Screaming his lungs out, clutching his sides, tears poured down the Red Testament's face…and finally, Virgil (Realian-eating prick) and Voyager (Egghead) finally got the bloody idea to look the hell up.

(Oh, somebody gonna die…)


	8. Man vs Bug round 1

**Chapter Eight: Man vs bug, round 1**

So yeah.

Somebody was gonna die.

(Unfortunately, it's not going to be the Realian-eating prick…grr.)

"WHY YOU LITTLE…"

**PLEASE WAIT. THIS SCENE IS NOW BEING EDITED BY NAMCO OF AMERICA DUE TO EXTREMLY GRAPHIC SWEARING.**

**WE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DAY.**

Needless to say, the chase was on once more…with Draky flying as fast as he could for his little life, and of course, the ever pissed-off Virgil (Realian-eating prick) behind him…

Leaving Kevin still screaming his ass off with laughter, Voyager just sitting there, and Wilhelm

(Sexy manipulating beast. Rawr.)

somehow (HOW THE HELL DOES HE DO THAT?) controlling his chuckles. And then, it started to get ugly, people.

Everybody has something they're good at, and the Testaments are no exception to this. Kevin like Wilhelm…

(Sexy manipulating beast. Rawr.)

Was very good at making and executing plans, Virgil…um…ahh… Okay. Virgil…

…

…

…

(Okay okay, so I don't know WHAT Virgil is good for. Aside from the usual cannibal and Febronia jokes…just act like I know what I'm talking about, kay?)

And Voyager?

Dude specialized in mind-screws.

(NOT LIKE THAT!)

Seriously.

Voyager would mess with your mind. All he had to do was turn his head and pin you with that _stare_…it just screamed "I'm more powerful than you, lowly mortal…now DIE!"

And when you were on the receiving end of the stare for say…several HOURS, it would do things to your mind.

(Egghead now targeting…red cloaked _baka_ about to receive the full effect….)

…

Kevin is a DEAD MAN.

* * *

For small things, we should be grateful…meaning Virgil had the presence of mind to hide himself from all eyes as he chased poor Draky around the _Durandal_. 

Many times.

Around and around and around and around and around and around and…

(BOINK)

>.o

Finally, the mind-numbing cycle was put to an end as Draky made a beeline for Shion's room.

It should also be noted here that it is now like 11:30 at night.

(And no, there will be no more pervertedness…THERE WILL BE NONE!)

Shion luckily, had gone to bed early, all you could see of her in the bed was her long brown hair, she was so buried underneath the covers…the bed next to hers was empty, MOMO had gone out on a date with Jr., the last time she had checked on them Jr. was being a gentleman and crashing on the couch while MOMO snoozed in his bed in the room the red-haired U.R.T.V. shared with chaos.

Draky now knowing that Virgil would not dare blow his cover for risk of getting OWNED GREATLY by Wilhelm, landed on Shion's sleeping form, turning around and sticking his little pink tongue out at the Realian-eating prick.

"Naaaaahhhh!"

(Of course, this is in environmental bug language…)

So now the Realian-eating prick found himself at a bit of an impasse…

(CLIFFHANGER.)

(:p)


End file.
